Take Time to Stop and Smell the Flowers and Listen To God

I think I have a weird mind sometimes.  (Sometimes wow is that an understatement.) My mind is a lot of times going 90 mi an hour and sometimes jumps from one subject to another.  Just out of the clear blue I realize I am thinking things that I have no idea what brought this about. 

This morning I was thinking about how I have always cut corners.   I have written several times about TIME and how it was my greatest enemy while writing my journal.  I let it control me and dictate how I lived my life so much of the time that it became the foundation of what this is all about.  It is not what the journal is all about but it does seem that I let it for different reasons to become the foundation of what I was doing or not doing with my life.   I know that for years I treated everything I needed to do like it just had to get done right now no matter how insignificant it was.  And while I would be working on one thing something else that I thought I needed to do would pop into my mind, then something else, then something else.   In a short time I had a list of things a mile long and none of the things was as important as I made them out to be.  Behind that list was another list. A list of what I wanted to do, the really important list. Things like I wanted to spend more time with God, spend some quiet time alone with him and listening to him, spend time writing because I felt like I was able to communicate with him in a way that I could see and understand what he was telling me.  I wanted to share the things I wrote wanting it to help others the way it helped me and maybe prevent someone else from doing the things wrong that I did, wanting to prevent at least some of the pain for them that I went through. Feeling so strongly that God had chosen me to use as one of his vessels to help others.    I wanted to find out  who is the real me, wanted at least one person to know the real me. Things like spending more time with my family, time to notice and enjoy more than just fleeting moments of the beauty of the world, find out what happy, contentment, having fun, peace felt like instead of just words that I had heard and was afraid of feeling and thought I didn’t deserve. This  list was not nearly as long but so much more important yet that was the list I neglected, cried about, prayed about but neglected to do anything about.  So instead I rushed more and more doing the unimportant things that I cut corners trying to finish so I could have time for the important things.  But as I have said so many times the time never came and I was running out of time.  I thank God that he finally woke me up enough that I let all of those unimportant things go.  When I finally did let all of that go the rest has been amazing. It has all come so naturally. It is within me, overflowing with no fear. Sometimes I do still have thoughts of “Why Me” and “I do not deserve this,” “ Does this mean I am soon going to die,” is my life almost over now and it is too late. But almost as soon as I have those thoughts I realize it doesn’t matter. It is all in God’s hands and whatever is his will is Ok for his will is best and I am just thankful that he is in control.  “Why me” is not important, whether I deserve it or not is not important, because there is absolutely nothing I could have ever done in my life that would be deserving of God’s love.  No matter what I have done right or wrong in the past is over and done with and there is no way I can change that so that is not important.  Anything and everything I wish I had done differently, all the time I wasted is out of my control so it is not important.  Did I wait too long is not important, if I die today, tomorrow or live several more years is not important, God knows how much time he wants or requires me to have.  It doesn’t matter how much time I have left to do the things I wanted, all of these things are temporary for I am temporary and when I do die God will still be in control and he will take care of the rest. Once I asked God when I started the journal, “if this is what you want me to do Heavenly Father please give me the words I must say.” God’s answer to me was, “You do what you can child, I will take care of the rest.”  All any of us need to do is, “Do what we can, keep trying and stay close to God,” He will take care of the rest.    

Everything I have mentioned like enjoying the beauty that is on Earth, happiness, peace, contentment, not being afraid because I know whatever comes along God is in control and is all something I can be Thankful for but how long it will last is not anything for me to worry about because all of this is temporary and nothing, absolutely nothing here can compare to what he has waiting for me when I go home and that will last an eternity.

 

I started this out actually planning to write about me cutting corners in recovery.  I guess God had other plans for what I was to write first. 

I had a lot on my mind about how the Christian Recovery Group is needed and the managers and assistant managers are being led by God and how God is working through them.  I believe that how God is using me through my journal is trying to help others see and recognize what is going wrong in our lives and see what the consequences can be. 

I believe that The Christian Recovery Group is God’s way of providing answers to how to make the right decision, and providing the steps it takes to accomplish recovery from the insanity of it all.  Those are the most important things that I have cut corners following through with.    And I think it is what my next entry will be about, but I leave it all in God’s hands for I am just a vessel and I do not know how to write. I don’t even know what it is I should write I just let God lead me and I just write whatever comes. I believe God writes through me just as I believe he is working through everyone that is working so hard to follow him and do his will.  

 

GOOD MORNING. YES, IT IS TIME TO SMELL THE ROSES. LOL... ROSES ARE MY FAVORITE FLOWER, THERE WERE MY PRECIOUS MOM'S FAVORITE TOO...
JUST THOUGHT I WOULD STOP BY AND SAY HELLO, IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME... HOPE YOUR DOING WELL. IN A FEW MINUTES I WILL WATCH JSM.ORG.. I GET SO BLESSED WATCHING IT.. IT IS LIVE THIS MORNING AND TONIGHT. OTHER WISE IT IS WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT LONG.. I GET SO UPLIFTED. THEY TELL IT JUST LIKE IT IS.
HOPE YOU HAVE A BLESSED DAY. GOD BLESS
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY.

Hi
Just thought I would drop by to say hallo. It has been a long time.
Hope your doing well, and feeling fine.
In a few minutes jsm.org will be on live. I get so much out of listening. It is live on Sunday mornings, and evening at 6:00. You can get it all day and all night long on windows media player. I have it on while I work on my computer. It is so uplifting. The music is so under the annointing.
You have a lovely day, and a blessed holiday.
Happy Memorial day. We will be going to my precious parents grave to put flower on tomarrow..
take care, God bless